Eyeball Museum Mad Martian OMPA Sony Software
PRESENT
FAUX FILM
FESTIVAL FAVORITES

10 YEARS OF FAUX FILM!
PORTLAND, OREGON
Clinton Street Theater, 2522 SE Clinton Street
FRIDAY APRIL 3 - SUNDAY APRIL 5, 2015

FAUX HOMESUBMITATTENDTHE FILMSSPONSORVOLUNTEERSHOPTIPSCONTACT



Friday April 3:
Shorts at 7pm: Faux Commercials and Trailers
Shorts at 8:30pm: Movie and TV spoofs

Saturday April 4:
Shorts at 7pm: Music Parody and Musical Satire
Shorts at 8:30pm: General Satire

Sunday April 5:
Shorts at 7pm: Science Fiction and Fantasy spoofs
Shorts at 8:30pm: Horror Spoofs

Schedule subject to change.
Some films may not be suitable for young children or easily offended adults.



FRIDAY APRIL 3 (alphabetical)

12 Hot Women
Director: Alan Chan
Location: California
Faux Year: 2005
Who needs a plot when you have 12 hot women?
300 Pounds
Director: Eric Valdes
Location: FL
Faux Year: 2008
When this battle is over, the world will know the power of being heavy!
Alive & Well
Director: Chris Peckover
Location: CA
Faux Year: 2007
Someone has seen "Alive" a few too many times.
Altarcations Altarcations
Director: Ron Leach
Location: Canada
Faux Year: 2011
A young couple has some disagreements over wedding plans.
Angry Birds Angry Birds
Director: Michael Bay
Location: USA
Faux Year: 2011
The popular iPhone app becomes an epic Hollywood film.
Bowling for Kidneys Bowling for Kidneys
Director: Mark Mitchell
Location: USA
Faux Year: 2010
You have to win to get a kidney!
Bruce Malloy, Private Investigator Bruce Malloy, Private Investigator
Director: Jus Riddick
Location: USA-CA
Faux Year: 2013
She was dark. He was dim. A neo-noir spoof.
Coping With Rhythm
Director: Zachary Steel
Location: NC
Faux Year: 2007
White men need fret no more about their complete lack of rhythm.
Drive Recklessly Drive Recklessly
Director: Peter Atencio
Location: USA-CA
Faux Year: 2012
You just never know who you might hit.
Fireplace Redux
Director: Jeff Hands
Location: Canada
Faux Year: 2006
See incredible behind the scenes footage of the making of the epic that is Fireplace!
Foil Helmets of Freedom Foil Helmets of Freedom
Director: Bob Akins
Location: USA-OR
Faux Year: 2013
Protect your noggin!
Great Way to Start the Day Great Way to Start the Day
Director: Susan Dorsey
Location: USA-CO
Faux Year: 2010
Oh yeah, nothing like it in the morning.
Home Purchasing Club
Director: Brian Roberts
Location: CA
Faux Year: 2007
The only place to get amazing products like the Hot Dog Juicer! These clips are courtesy of VH1.
Horizons - Clown Killer
Director: Russell Bates
Location: CA
Faux Year: 2009
Can't stop killing clowns? Now there's help! Shown in HD.
I Must Destroy You
Director: David Johnston
Location: California
Faux Year: 2006
An anime battle goes awry when a fly gets into one of the robots.
Li'l Cocktail Lounge
Director: Jackson Douglas
Location: CA
Faux Year: 2008
Teach your kids an important job skill. Comes complete with working blender!
Miracle Investigators Miracle Investigators
Director: Jeremy Dehn
Location: USA-TX
Faux Year: 2010
This dynamic duo debunks phony miracles.
Mister Super Juice Mister Super Juice
Director: Mike Wellins
Location: USA-OR
Faux Year: 2014
Mr. Super Juice is an important infomercial with Mr. Super Juice, himself, extolling the virtues of juicing and juicing machines.
Moosecock
Director: Will Hartman
Location: CA
Faux Year: 2007
The making of the most phenomenal film of our time. The director says, "Oregon Beavers love Moosecock!"
Movies are Better
Director: Benjamin Hershleder
Location: CA
Faux Year: 2007
In case you weren't sure, examples are given that make this fact painfully clear.
New Testament
Director: Philip Pelletier
Location: Oregon
Faux Year: 2006
The wine cooler of the gods!
Parking, Space Parking, Space
Director: Jeff Blyth
Location: USA-CA
Faux Year: 2011
Space is more crowded than it seems.
Pogtown Pogtown
Director: A.Z. Chandler
Location: USA-OR
Faux Year: 2014
Ralphie takes on Ivan Stackhanov in the elite Pog tournament Slamorama. With the help of POG master Barry Slamson, can Ralphie train to become the best at Pogs and defeat Ivan?
Priest Off
Director: Corky Quakenbush
Faux Year: 2009
Protect your young choir boy from those pesky priests.
Recipe for Disaster Recipe for Disaster
Director: Leslie Roberson
Location: USA-TX
Faux Year: 2010
Participants compete in an international film race.
Reemco Atomic Broom
Director: Jackson Douglas
Location: California
Faux Year: 2006
This is no ordinary broom - it's the Reemco ATOMIC broom, with 100% pure cleaning power!
School of French Kissing for Dogs School of French Kissing for Dogs
Director: Payman Benz
Location: USA-CA
Faux Year: 2012
Learn how to go from casual licking to doing it the way the French do.
Skinja! Skinja!
Director: Daniel Goodman
Location: USA-NY
Faux Year: 2013
Skinja is a stripper by night, ninja by later that night, putting the ass in assassin.
SuperAnon
Director: Stephen Plitt
Location: Canada
Faux Year: 2005
Superheros get all the glory - sending their untalented relatives into therapy.
The Bolt Who Screwed Christmas The Bolt Who Screwed Christmas
Director: John Wardlaw
Location: USA-CA
Faux Year: 2011
All the screws down in Screwville loved Christmas a lot. Narrated by Jonathan Harris.
The McPassion
Director: Benjamin Hershleder
Location: CA
Faux Year: 2007
The latest kids meal special puts religion back into fast food.
The Muppetless Movie The Muppetless Movie
Director: Vincent Gargiulo
Location: USA-CA
Faux Year: 2012
Starring all your favorite characters.
The Story of Sputnik
Director: John Harden
Location: CA
Faux Year: 2009
Educational and funny too! Featurng the MAGIC EASEL! Shown in HD!
The Strange Case of Ray Milland
Director: Bruce Dellis
Location: Arizona
Faux Year: 2005
This spoof of A&E biographies tells of the seedier side of Ray Milland. Who knew of his cannibalistic past?
Truth In Advertising
Director: Tim Hamilton
Location: Canada
Faux Year: 2005
If you could read the minds of advertising execs, here's what they're really thinking.
Zombie Vegetarians
Director: Mad Martian
Location: Oregon
Faux Year: 2005
Tainted veggie burgers turn people into zombies. Who will stop them?


SATURDAY APRIL 4 (alphabetical)

Chopin Chopin
Director: Vincent Gargiulo
Location: USA-CA
Faux Year: 2011
Band members argue about adding Mozart into the mix.
Chrysalis Chrysalis
Director: Zachary Mattson
Location: USA-NE
Faux Year: 2012
A man seeks to fulfill his dream of becoming a pop star.
Death Placenta
Director: Tabitha Vidaurri
Location: Pennsylvania
Faux Year: 2006
Female punk rockers must go on tour, despite their "condition".
Fetch
Director: Dana Dorian
Location: Scotland
Faux Year: 2007
Be careful what you teach your dog!
God's Clowns God's Clowns
Director: Steve Sandoz
Location: USA-OR
Faux Year: 2011
Clowning for God. It's a calling. Stars members of the Firesign Theater and features members of Portland's own Third Floor.
Hands Are Bananas
Director: Nick Andrews
Location: MT
Faux Year: 2007
Do you know vhy? I'll tell you vhy! Bevare the milky pirate!
Harmony in the Hills
Director: Susan Busa
Location: Texas
Faux Year: 2006
A city has been recreated as a movie theme town and some folks can't get the theme song out of their heads.
Horn Dog Horn Dog
Director: Bill Plympton
Location: USA-NY
Faux Year: 2010
What happens if you don't get your dog neutered.
Jimmy's House of Hugs
Director: Julia Radochia
Location: California
Faux Year: 2005
When you just need a hug, see Jimmy. His able staff will give you that warm and fuzzy feeling.
Johnny Bagpipes
Director: Todd Korgan
Location: Oregon
Faux Year: 2006
He dreamed of playing the bagpipes - in a rock band.
Love Royale
Director: Henry Saine
Location: CA
Faux Year: 2009
Japanese television at it's finest pits girl against girl in a fight for love!
Offline Offline
Director: Ian Bawa/Benjamin Lenz
Location: Canada/Germany
Faux Year: 2013
What happens when the entire world goes offline.
One Grain More One Grain More
Director: Michael Bihovsky & Lily Bayrock
Location: USA-PA
Faux Year: 2014
The Les Miserables food allergy parody that will knock your hypoallergenic socks off!When Marius, Cosette, and Epipen are invited to an allergy-friendly party at the house of Jean Valjean, each must create a dish absent of all possible allergens.
Piggyback
Director: Greg Omelchuck
Location: TX
Faux Year: 2008
We follow "Piggy" as he deals with bike taxis trying to steal his territory.
Rock in a Hard Place
Director: Matthew Monson
Location: NY
Faux Year: 2008
Someone is not playing fair in this world of RPS.
Snowtime
Director: Dana Dorian
Location: Scotland
Faux Year: 2008
Colin and Cumberland are back with a new adventure!
Steffi Likes This Steffi Likes This
Director: Philipp Scholz
Location: Germany
Faux Year: 2014
Facebooks updates made real. In German with English subtitles.
Suspicious Bulges Suspicious Bulges
Director: Misha Collins
Location: USA-CA
Faux Year: 2014
A pregnant woman is subjected to a fetal frisking. In TSA America: Level Orange! our officers give screenings that travelers will never forget.
The Gynotician The Gynotician
Director: Lisa D'Apolito
Location: USA-NY
Faux Year: 2014
A woman goes for an exam and finds that the person examining her is not a real physician but a Gynotician, a politician.
The Padlock The Padlock
Director: Ettore Nicoletti
Location: Italy
Faux Year: 2012
Some men are just a tad afraid of commitment.
Tossers
Director: Danny Grossman
Location: CA
Faux Year: 2009
The true story of the world's 4th gay frisbee dancing competition.
Vacuum Vacuum
Director: Karl Holt
Location: UK
Faux Year: 2011
A man is not the only one who's lonely after his girlfriend moves out.
Wigga Pleaze Wigga Pleaze
Director: Josh Fong
Location: USA-CA
Faux Year: 2013
An autobiographical, rap video parody chronicling a girl's fleeting, unlikely romance with a 'wigga'. Stars Naomi Grossman ("Pepper" from American Horror Story).


SUNDAY APRIL 5 (alphabetical)

Davey and Son of Goliath
Director: Corky Quakenbush
Faux Year: 2008
Davey's dog Goliath tells him to kill people in parked cars.
Dear Sweet Emma
Director: John Cernak
Location: North Carolina
Faux Year: 2006
Awe, she's such a sweetheart! Really. More or less.
Directors on Directing Directors on Directing
Director: Damien Patrik
Location: USA-CO
Faux Year: 2014
Pontificating film directors, dancing nuns, sweet little girls and puppy dogs. Who could ask for anything more? 3 successful film directors explain the REAL secrets to success.
Dracula's Daughters vs the Space Brains Dracula's Daughters vs the Space Brains
Director: Frank Ippolito & Ezekiel Zabrowski
Location: USA-CA
Faux Year: 2011
The greatest mashup of all time! Who will win? The blood suckers or the space brains? Stars Neil Patrick Harris.
Friday the 13th Part Vi: Deleted Scene (Birdwatching) Friday the 13th Part Vi: Deleted Scene (Birdwatching)
Director: Tim Hall
Location: USA-NY
Faux Year: 2014
This scene was likely deleted for being too foul.
Hellholes Hellholes
Director: Efram Potelle and Kyle Rankin
Location: USA-CA
Faux Year: 2010
A student discovers a hole to Hell in his trailer. With veteran actor Ray Wise.
How I became the Devil How I became the Devil
Director: Sebastiano Olla
Location: USA-CA
Faux Year: 2013
Lucifer has been working all his life to get a promotion but his final assignment, taking care of G.O.D's latest creation: The Man, will drive him crazy.
How To Kill Your Clone How To Kill Your Clone
Director: Jack McWilliams
Location: USA-CA
Faux Year: 2013
Dick wants to kill his out of control clone, but due to their identical physical and mental abilities, he must hire the third party Clone Killer Corporation.
I'm in the Mood for Death
Director: Carolyn London
Location: NY
Faux Year: 2008
When you're in the mood, it's time to go.
Purple Bins
Director: Susan Deming
Location: California
Faux Year: 2006
"Bring out yer dead!"
Red Snow
Director: Corky Quakenbush
Faux Year: 2009
Penguins. They're not just black and white - they're red all over!
Rise of the Appliances Rise of the Appliances
Director: Rob Sprackling
Location: UK
Faux Year: 2012
You better be nice to your waffle iron.
Shine Shine
Director: Jesse Blanchard
Location: USA-OR
Faux Year: 2012
Let the light shine down on you. Or else.
Smart Card
Director: James Oxford
Location: California
Faux Year: 2006
Technology may solve some problems, but it always brings new ones.
Surviving Hunger Surviving Hunger
Director: Song, Balgum
Location: USA-CA
Faux Year: 2011
A lizard creature searches for food in the desert and finds more than he bargained for.
The Furred Man The Furred Man
Director: Paul Williams
Location: UK
Faux Year: 2011
Max's alibi is littered with two corpses, blood-curdling screams and a tale of "the beast", but this furry man swears he can explain...
The Horribly Slow Murderer with the Extremely Inefficient Weapon The Horribly Slow Murderer with the Extremely Inefficient Weapon
Director: Richard Gale
Location: USA
Faux Year: 2010
A man is plagued by a deadly killer who gives new meaning to "spooning".
The Ninjews: Goy-L Trouble The Ninjews: Goy-L Trouble
Director: Josh Bass
Location: USA-TX
Faux Year: 2011
Two circumcisioners with ninja powers save the world from evil Catholics. Guaranteed to offend!
Treevenge
Director: Jason Eisener
Faux Year: 2009
Christmas trees have their revenge in this bloody classic.
Zombie-American
Director: Nick Poppy
Location: New York
Faux Year: 2006
A tale of the plight of our least understood citizens. Stars Ed Helms (The Daily Show).

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